I know it's been said by a lot of people, more eloquently than here, but it's still probably not said enough. Single moms, and dads, I don't know how you do it. My husband recently spent a week out of the country and even with daycare and help from family, I was so exhausted, both mentally and physically. Even more than usual, and I'm pretty much constantly ready to fall asleep. For those of you doing it on your own, many without the help of family, with infants and toddlers: how do you find a moment to shower? to work/clean/cook? to think? to relax?
It wasn't that many years ago that I was newly single, striking out on my own, but unsure as to whether I would meet someone special and be able to start a family with them. It was around the same time my nephew was born. I looked at him a lot that first Christmas season on my own. I knew I wanted that. I nearly reconsidered my choice to be single. Instead, as the new year came around, I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened, I would have a child. I decided that if I reached 35 without finding the right person to spend my life with, I would have a child on my own and create that family I desired. It was a freeing decision and took all the pressure out of dating and trying to find Mr. Right. It wasn't long after the decision was made, that I did find the right guy. But that knowledge that I would have done this on my own by this point in my life (I'm now 36), sits in the back of my mind. We all have those "what ifs" -- but this "what if" isn't "what if I didn't have a baby?", it's "what if I'd had a baby on my own?" What would my life look like now? What would I be doing? Where would I be living? It's hard to say, because children change everything. Everything. Immediately. And having a child on your own changes everything in an entirely different way than having a child with a partner who shares those duties, joys and tears with you.
This is all apropos of nothing. Other than to say, thank you, to my husband and my daughter. You've changed everything, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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