How much of a monster do you have to be to do something like this?

TheStar Man faces attempted murder charges after woman, children plunge from balcony

The National Women's Show, clearly representing all that you care about

I just received this email about the National Women's Show -- essentially an opportunity for companies to directly reach the women that they want to buy their products. And you get to pay $14 for the opportunity to have products sold to you. But, according to the flyer, this is what is important to women on a national level: soap opera actors, fashion, home decorating, cooking and makeovers. Thank you Chatelaine for putting all things that women love into one convenient location!

Shout out to single moms and dads

I know it's been said by a lot of people, more eloquently than here, but it's still probably not said enough. Single moms, and dads, I don't know how you do it. My husband recently spent a week out of the country and even with daycare and help from family, I was so exhausted, both mentally and physically. Even more than usual, and I'm pretty much constantly ready to fall asleep. For those of you doing it on your own, many without the help of family, with infants and toddlers: how do you find a moment to shower? to work/clean/cook? to think? to relax?

It wasn't that many years ago that I was newly single, striking out on my own, but unsure as to whether I would meet someone special and be able to start a family with them. It was around the same time my nephew was born. I looked at him a lot that first Christmas season on my own. I knew I wanted that. I nearly reconsidered my choice to be single. Instead, as the new year came around, I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened, I would have a child. I decided that if I reached 35 without finding the right person to spend my life with, I would have a child on my own and create that family I desired. It was a freeing decision and took all the pressure out of dating and trying to find Mr. Right. It wasn't long after the decision was made, that I did find the right guy. But that knowledge that I would have done this on my own by this point in my life (I'm now 36), sits in the back of my mind. We all have those "what ifs" -- but this "what if" isn't "what if I didn't have a baby?", it's "what if I'd had a baby on my own?" What would my life look like now? What would I be doing? Where would I be living? It's hard to say, because children change everything. Everything. Immediately. And having a child on your own changes everything in an entirely different way than having a child with a partner who shares those duties, joys and tears with you.

This is all apropos of nothing. Other than to say, thank you, to my husband and my daughter. You've changed everything, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Creative girl nails it to American Apparel

For years American Apparel has been sexualizing young girls and underweight women and men in their ad campaigns. Now they've decided to start offering larger sizes, and sponsored a contest where plus-sized women posted photos of themselves to become the next face of American Apparel. They just weren't counting on anyone intelligent and lacking the need to find beauty approval finding out about the contest:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/09/nancy-upton-on-her-american-apparel-plus-size-photo-spoof.html

Another shirt that puts us back 50 years...

Leave it to Forever 21 to take up the cross of anti-feminist clothing slogans, now that JC Penney has taken their shirt out of circulation. Sign the petition and let them know this needs to stop:
http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-forever-21-stop-selling-clothing-with-sexist-messages

And it's just one in a line of "thinking sucks" shirts, for girls only of course:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=97333

Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out?

Yet another large retailer destroying girls' self esteem, and ignoring any progress women have made in the last 50 years! Not only should you think you're stupid, girls, you should wear a t-shirt that proclaims how great it is to be stupid.

http://jezebel.com/5836173/jcpenney-will-destroy-your-daughters-self-esteem-for-just-999

Women staying in low-level positions

A quick look around the office confirms this:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/managing/on-the-job/women-gaining-little-ground-in-senior-management-study-finds/article2147588/

Worst toys for girls...

A little fun "What were they thinking?" on a Monday morning (so long as none of these toys actually reach  girls, we should be okay). Thanks to Deirdre for this (we both have Benign Girl phones, they do have great ringtones):
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/02/worst-toys-for-girls_n_701063.html

OMG Shopping!

A few days ago, I was looking through Mexx and ran across a table of about 15 different t-shirts for toddler girls. I perused the table, and saw that one of the shirts had the Eiffel Tower on it. I am a sucker for anything Paris-related, particularly when it comes to things for my daughter (she was conceived in Paris). However, when I lifted the shirt up, I saw that it had a shopping slogan across the bottom of the shirt -- something about how girls love to shop in Paris. I looked at the rest of the table and realized that every one of those shirts had a slogan about shopping or being pretty. Every single shirt. The next table had shirts marketed at boys, with various slogans -- sports, construction, etc. -- cliches, but at least ones that involve doing/creating things that could increase self-esteem, promote physical activity, and encourage creativity. Not so for girls. The only message we are sending our very young girls is that they need to be pretty, and the only thing they are good at is spending money to look pretty. Be vacuous, girls. Leave the thinking up to the boys -- it'll only give you wrinkles.

Retailers need to consider the messages they are sending, to all people -- young and old, female and male. These branded shirts demean all of us. Any progressive clothing stores out there? I'm looking for a new place to shop -- apparently, I'm good at it. Too bad for Mexx I won't be spending my money getting pretty in their stores anymore.

Diet book for four-year olds; get them while they still have self-esteem!

Thanks to Sandra for this:
http://jezebel.com/5832072/new-childrens-book-encourages-young-girls-to-diet

Some of my favourite actresses stepping up to say no to plastic surgery!

We live in a society where boob jobs are given away as prizes in nightclubs (major surgery to look fake is a prize!??). Good to see some women, who are judged constantly on their looks, saying no:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/8700007/Kate-Winslet-joins-forces-in-cosmetic-surgery-battle.html

Sleeping baby, nighttime thoughts

As I put my daughter in her crib, passed out with a tummy full of breast milk, I think about how this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her peaceful, quiet face is better than the Eiffel Tower lit up during a Paris summer night. Right now we are close, literally as she is asleep in my arms, but also because she needs me. Now I am the most important person in her life -- the source of all things. But how long will that last? As she grows and explores, I hope that I will remain a constant source of comfort and a safe place. That is my goal.

Last weekend, my daughter was baptised. To me, this ceremony was really about starting a deeper life for her, and for ensuring that there are positive people in her life, both spiritually and otherwise. It's important, I think, for girls to have as many strong female role models as possible. I will always endeavour to be the best I can for her. Once she goes out into the world, there will be more negative influences on her than I care to think about -- people ready to introduce her far too young to makeup and dating, people with little self-respect ready to tell her about sex, people who don't like themselves ready to pick her apart. If I do my job well, she'll come back to me, will want talk about all these new things and will actually listen to what I say. Even if I disagree with some of the choices she makes in the future, if she makes them thoughtfully, that's all I can ask.

I'm excited to see the person that she will become. But not yet. I don't want this sleeping baby to grow up too fast. There is far too much of that around -- too many people pushing adult matters on kids who are not ready for it. You only have to see a commercial for the show Toddlers and Tiaras to realize that. Childhood is so short, sweetie. Stay there for as long as you can.

Sexualizing 10-year-old girls

This is the kind of digusting bullshit we have to fight against.

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1035470--mallick-image-of-girl-10-on-vogue-cover-is-retching?bn=1

Strawberry Shortcake, Now Fat-free!

I used to love Strawberry Shortcake when I was growing up. I had a figurine of every character and they smelled so good. When I played with the figurines I made up the characters' personalities myself. There were one or two Strawberry Shortcake specials, but all I remember about them was that there was a character who painted and they always seemed be "doing the right thing," thus defeating the evil Purple Pie Man.

Strawberry Shortcake is back again, for the second time. She made an appearance seven or eight years ago, updated from the original. The version I saw at the time was a plump redhead in denim overalls with big gardening hat. But I guess that didn't sell, because she has been revamped again, and this time there is a TV show to help sell the products. The roundness is gone. As are the jeans, and any other casual attire. This new Strawberry Shortcake is always in a dress, as are her friends. Now that there is a TV show we can learn a bit more about the characters. They all love to dress up. They all love to have their hair and nails done. They are pretty much completely vapid, self-absorbed girls would rather plan a party, which they seem to do in every episode, than think for themselves or learn. The Strawberry Shortcake website -- where you can buy her roadster, dresses and a market for shopping -- features a "Beach Party" game and a "Fashion Show" game.

I know, it's a TV show. But it's a TV show made for young girls who are learning what girls and women do. And really, it's disappointing that this character that I loved, mainly for her delicious smell, is a moron. Or at least her current crew of writers and animators are (or the focus group they based the character on). This is something I had hoped to share with my daughter. But this is not a show we'll be watching.

New story: $7 per day childcare, and it pays for itself!

The numbers speak for themselves...

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/education/childcare/daycare/article/1012855--quebec-s-child-care-scheme-pays-for-itself-economist

News story: Lower pay for more menstruation

Idiot justifies wage discrepancy because of period. Does that mean menopausal women should have equal pay?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/should-a-womans-period-affect-her-pay-one-ceo-makes-the-case/article2074538/

News story: Breastfeeding flash mob

Would have loved to have been a part of this...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005874/Breast-best-Hundreds-nursing-mothers-surprise-shoppers-awareness-flashmob.html

Welcome!

On May 8, 2010, I became a mother. I didn't know whether I was going to have a girl or boy, but had been saying for months, that if I had a girl, which I was suspecting, life was about to become a whole lot more complicated. While I believe that's true for any parent, today being a girl is becoming harder, not easier, than before. Girls are bombarded with sexist images and rhetoric from before they can speak. Besides being a positive influence in her life, how could I help my daughter avoid the pitfalls that were waiting for her, pitfalls that proclaimed that she could be somehow better if she weighed less, had larger breasts, a smaller waist, blonder hair, pricier clothes, and, of course, a man.

And during my maternity leave, I was also reigniting my passion for the causes of mothers and women at home and at work, including breastfeeding, low wages, lack of daycare availability and funding, and workplaces that punish rather than reward motherhood.

I hope in this blog to explore some of these issues further, and ask for input from readers regarding news stories and answers to question, "How do we win this fight?"