Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein has been sitting on my pile of books for a while -- it got pushed back a bit more than expected even, because I really wanted to reread the Hobbit for the fifth time before the movie came out. I bought the book with the expectation that I would generally agree with everything Orenstein wrote about. After all, the reason she researched and wrote the book are pretty much the same reason I started this blog. And really, for the most part, I did. There is very little that's mind blowing in the book. It makes sense. Marketing to girls starts at a younger and younger age, the sexualization of girls starts at a younger and younger age, parents embrace the pink toys and princesses because they believe it will stave off the sexualization of their daughters. But instead in makes them prime marketing material for that very thing. Girls are looking and acting older at a younger age, but their minds and emotions are not, and cannot, make that same leap. There is a disconnect and it is troubling. The book is honest in how Orenstein struggled with the issues with her own daughter (not buying a Barbie, feeling guilty and buying the Barbie, feeling confused about buying the damn Barbie) and the role her friends played in teaching her the very things that Orenstein was trying to avoid (in one sequence her daughter's friend tells her daughter that her bike helmet isn't a girl's helmet because it isn't pink). Navigating through the marketing machine isn't easy and Orenstein shows that being an expert on women's issues doesn't necessarily make it any easier.
I'd recommend this book to anyone with a young daughter, and by young I mean tween or younger, as this book also looks at the what's influencing our daughters when they move on from the princess phase. This book just reiterates that we have to involved in our daughters' lives, look at what they are into and just discuss things with them. You can't control what they will like, nor should you be able to, but you can help them think about things critically. That critical thinking is something that they can carry with them when you're not there. They may not always use the tools we give them, but sometimes, when it's most crucial, they might. The book helped me put on my own critical thinking cap and distilled the issues for me. Definitely worth a read (for both moms and dads, by the way).
I'd love feedback from anyone else who has read the book.
Here is the copy from the back of the jacket, for those who would like to know more about it:
Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they?
In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.
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