The Thin Pink Line

It has begun. Last weekend after a playdate with a few of my daughter's preschool friends, my daughter cried at me, "You forgot my nail polish!" Several times. Each time with more energy and disappointment in her voice. Her little friend was wearing nail polish. The peer-to-peer girly indoctrination had begun.

As someone with super short I'm-trying-desperately-not-to-bite-them nails, I don't wear nail polish. Or at least so rarely she would have no memory of the last time I wore it. And let me state that I have no problem with nail polish. But my daughter is three. And I think, though clearly some would disagree with me, too young for make up, which nail polish is. I know people who have taken their daughters, younger than mine, for manicures and spa days. For me, this sends the wrong message; for others, it's okay. Clearly her friend's mother had no qualms about painting her daughter's nails. I do.

And I don't.

On the flip side, there is nothing wrong with being girly, whether it's a little or a lot, IF it is tempered with other things -- books, science, math, etc -- basically anything that reminds her that it's what she does with her brain that defines her (though she should defy definition), not how she looks.

But she going to be bombarded with the opposite message for the rest of her life. I had hoped for more time.

Part of me wishes that I had been raised in a more girly household. Make up, shaving my legs, hair styles, nails, jewelry, foot care, facial hair -- these are all issues that I tackled on my own, because I had no guidance on them. In fact, at times when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, I felt like I was teaching my mom about these things (in her defense, she was in a house filled with boys for many years before I came along). I admire the fact that my mom wasn't a slave to the feminine commercial engine and that we didn't have a house filled with fashion magazines. But sometimes I wish she'd taken me for a manicure, to have my "colours done" or just out to dinner to chat about ladies' stuff. But I wished for these things when I was 13, not three.

From my daughter's perspective, all she saw was that her friend had brightly coloured nails and she did not. Those nails must have looked fun, and she would have thought nothing of seeing a boy with same nails (yet), so it can't really be chalked up to her wanting to be girly. And it's okay if she does want to be girly. She already likes dresses and skirts, and play bracelets and rings. Is nail polish so different? She also loves trains, superheroes, books, cars, cooking, learning about animals and the Science Centre. And her favourite colour is green, not pink.

I think I had play nail polish when I was about seven or eight years old (Tinkerbell brand, if I'm not mistaken). I have not bought my daughter any nail polish. I have also not ruled it out completely.