Superheroes

A few nights ago, my daughter came home and said she wanted to play superheroes, but she couldn't be a superhero because she was a girl. My heart sank. Not yet three years old and she already thinks there is something she can't do or be because of her gender. I stopped what I was doing, knelt on the floor and asked her, "Who said you can't be a superhero?" It turns out one of the boys in her preschool had said it. I looked her in the eyes, made sure she was listening to me, and told her that girls can be anything they want to be. I must have said it five times in a row, at least. Then I told her that there were lots of girl superheroes, and we could play superheroes any time she wanted to.

We ate our dinner and talked a bit more about what superheroes did and how they were strong and had special powers or skills like flying. Halfway through dinner, my husband came home and I told him to tell her about how there were lots of girl superheroes, quickly explaining what happened. He said all the same things I did and when to grab our tablet, so he could look up female superheroes on YouTube for her to see. But they all had enormous breasts, tiny waists, and were sexed up to look like porn stars in a Superman rip off.

I quickly thought of the Power Puff Girls (which are not without their problems, message-wise) and put on an  episode for her to watch. I know comic books are mostly drawn by men for men, and frankly she is too young for comics anyway, but something needs to change in the superhero comic book and video game world and it needs to change fast.

Some people are taking it upon themselves to start that change. Two dads in the past year have been in the news for changing the coding in video games for daughters, one with Donkey Kong and one with Zelda. DC, Marvel, Nintendo, Sony -- are you listening? People are going to the trouble to create non-damsels in distress characters themselves. People are creating female characters to get the job done. The public are requesting this. Make it so.

FYI -- If anyone knows of some good female superheroes, let me know. I need all the resources I can find.

The Diet of a 7 Year Old

This makes me sad and angry. It's the reason I write this blog. It's reason I've been more dedicated to this since my daughter was born. It's why, among other reasons, we have to keep fighting society and the media, and keep in touch with our children.

An Australian mommy blogger, who sounds like she is doing all the right things, found this note on her 7-year-old daughter's bedroom floor:

How terrible. How sad. A seven-year-old girl should not know the word diet. Apparently she learned about it from another 7 year old  is on a diet. This is what we are up against. We can model the right behaviour. We can talk about how beautiful every woman, every shape, every size is. But 7 year olds may still be told they are fat, that they need to diet, that they aren't the incredible human beings we know they are.

See this mom's post here.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/i-found-this-today-on-my-daughters-floor-my-daughter-is-seven/

One Billion Rising

Happy Valentine's Day. And of course today was also One Billion Rising. I hope it was at least. Hard to tell by the small crowd in Toronto at Nathan Phillips Square today. The vibe was very positive and it was a great crowd, but it was hardly the crowd I had envisioned when I first heard about the project. I think the problem is that in Canada at least there was no real mainstream media coverage of the upcoming day. Why not? Bad PR? Media just not interested? A lack of sponsors for buying media time/space? My hope is that year after year more people will hear about the movement and join in. And we need a corporate sponsor or ten, but I think more people, schools and businesses would be happy to get involved and spread this message of non-violence. If only they knew the movement was out there. It has to become more mainstream. In the months and days leading up to V-Day, I watched and listened but only heard about events through feminist channels. It's not enough.

But I don't want to be a downer. The event was great. The vibe was positive and inclusive. I just wish there were more people there. Perhaps the media will do a good job showcasing the events in the news and that will translate into more involvement next year. But we were there, and we'll be there next year.

 

What Can Good Men Do?

What can men do to stop the harassment of women and girls? To stop the victim blaming? To ensure a safe future for our daughters?

Most men we know are not abusers. They are not rapists. They are not threatening feminists online or harassing women on the street. But maybe they crack a joke every now and then. Maybe they listen while their friends or those in close proximity harass women and girls without saying anything. Maybe they don't see it as harassment. Maybe they don't understand how hurtful these things are and the effect it has on grown women, let alone the developing minds of our daughters.

What can the good men do? Speak up. Speak up to other men. Tell everyone who will listen, and those that won't, that this has to end. That this must stop now. Advocate for feminism, understanding that doing so doesn't make your weak, but that it makes you strong. Strong for speaking up for what's right, and standing against the crowd. Understanding that not letting this crap slide will help young girls believe they can do and be anything they want. Without fear.

Reading the following Ms. blog post by Ben Atherton-Zeman is a good start. Maybe this should be required reading for all men...
How Some Men Harass Women Online and What Other Men Can Do to Stop It

Skirting the Issue

"Judgment" by Rosea Lake


The above photograph is by student artist Rosea Lake and is entitled "Judgment." This image, clearly a response to the rape culture and victim-blaming culture we are living in now, is beautiful in it's simplicity. It's message is clear. In case the image is difficult to see, the different skirt heights are labelled from "matronly," to "proper" to "asking for it" to "whore" and everything in between. The photo has gone viral and at the very least will get people thinking, asking questions and sharing. We need dialogue. We need people thinking. We need to start changing the world. Art is good start.

Indian Medical Student Dies After Hours Long Gang Rape

I heard the news that this young woman had died while I was driving home from my parents, my daughter sleeping in the backseat. I couldn't help but cry. It's hard to imagine someone I know and love suffering so terribly. The details of this bright young woman's assault by six men on a bus are horrifying. It's hard to believe that anyone could have so little respect for another human's life, that six men could have such hatred and anger in them. But it happened and now she is gone. Through all the pain, and while doctors in both India and Singapore tried to save her life, she wanted to live, she wanted to survive. We all owe it to this woman to ensure that she does survive. That she is never forgotten. That those horrifying and painful hours of her life bring about massive change. We have to make sure there is change. No daughter, mother, sister, wife should ever go through something like this ever again. We need to rise up, sisters. This can NEVER happen again. http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1308098--indian-gang-rape-victim-dies-in-hospital

Princess is NOT a career

Sesame Street, in it's ongoing infinite wisdom, has released a new segment featuring U.S. Supreme Court Justice Justice Sonia Sotomayor explaining to Abby what a career is and how being a princess isn't a career. It's awesome. All girls need to see it. Many women need to see it too. Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHICz5MYxNQ